Things you should know about Hillary Clinton:
-Went to Woodstock and ate acid; claimed she saw the devil dressed as Charlie Chaplin who told her many things and how to run a country.
-When you ask what her favorite band is she says "I like all kinds of music."
-Only tips 10%
-Gets mad if you eat in the living room.
-Looks at all every coin to make sure none of the pennies she is giving to the cashier are valuable or collectible.
-"Those 30,000 emails were about items I ordered from QVC and my large investments in the Slap-Chop and Sham-Wow; I don't know what everyone is so upset about." -HC
-Uses a flip phone.
-Answers her home phone "Clinton Residence."
-Her and Bill sleep in separate twin-size beds.
-Asks for a ride in your car, then tells you to change the music.
-Makes everyone go to church on vacation.
-Is a New York Jets fan.
-Favorite baseball player is Alex Rodriguez.
-Once went to outer space on a secret mission to pledge allegiance to extra-terrestrial beings.
-Likes the Dixie Chicks.
-Tells you to go fart in the restroom.
-Is "more of a Bird Person"
-Has towels in the bathroom you can't use.
-Sets 5 alarms because she sleeps through the first 4.
-Doesn't like to watch baseball because it's "boring."
-Orders chicken fried steak at a steak house.
Things you should know about Donald Trump:
-Is a Patriots fan.
-Gets a water cup at every restaurant and fills it with soda.
-Calls you every day to ask for the money back that you borrowed.
-Doesn't lift the toilet seat when he pees; also doesn't clean off the toilet seat.
-Borrows your comic books and never gives them back cause he's "not done reading them."
-Asks to copy your homework every day.
-Always asks for a piece of gum.
-Writes his name on the desk.
-Pranks people and gets mad when they get mad.
-Doesn't close the door when he leaves your room.
-Doesn't think Parks And Rec is a good TV show.
-When you wanna eat somewhere he says he doesn't wanna go there and demands you go to a different place, and it's way more expensive and he won't pay for anyone else's food.
-Doesn't tip.
-Asks you to borrow money and won't borrow you any when you ask.
-Asks for a bite of your food and takes 3 more after.
-Once mistook a man for a lady and grabbed him by his manhood.
-Prefers Pepsi.
-Thinks Pete Rose should be in the Hall Of Fame.
-His favorite band is Def Leopard and Luke Bryan.
-Comes home late and is noisy.
-Changes the channel when you're watching something.
-Was in the Manson Family.
-Plans on incorporating "Helter Skelter" into his inauguration speech if he wins.
-Still thinks black people can jump higher cause they have different ligaments in their legs.
-Doesn't like the movie Forest Gump cause he says it's too long.
-Orders a hamburger at a Mexican Restaurant.
-Yells at waitresses when his food is incorrect.
-Brings his girlfriend to 'Guys night'
-Always wants to drive your car.
-Tries to tell you what to carve on your pumpkin.
-Asks for rent money in the middle of the month.
-Posts pictures of his nieces and nephews like they're his own kids; he even posts how many months old they are.
-Turns off the TV and says "Time for bed" when he's ready for bed.
-Doesn't text back unless he needs or wants something.
-Spends all his money and says "Remember that $100 I loaned you a while back? I need that today."
-Tries to talk about how bald you are to detract from how fat he got.
-One time got into a fight and his toupee fell off and a dog took it and ran away with it.
-Has a reality TV show*
-*It's not good.
-Asks how much your paycheck was.
-Once met with Kim Jong Un and they kissed on the lips.
-Orders his steak well done.
-Tried to disown his daughter so he could marry her later.
-Says the movie is better than the book*
-*He didn't read the book.
My Source is a very reliable source. I know it, you know it, everyone knows it.
I'm not telling you who to vote for, just giving you the facts, folks. Go vote today, it's one of the last rights you have as an American.
Photos provided by: Ungy G. Ballongy
