If you asked me when I was 18 where I would be in five years, I probably would have said that I would be happily married. I would have served my mission for the LDS church, and I would have a good paying full time job, and I would be driving a Camaro or something.
If only I could show 18 year old me where I am now. He probably wouldn't be all that pleased. And maybe that would have given me the gusto to fix and change things.
If you asked me today where I'll be in five years? Shit. The only thing that comes to mind is; hopefully happy.
I realize that that may sound like a section of self loathing, and maybe it is. But I guess that the bigger portion of that is trying to come to terms with the fact that; I am what I am.
I think that too often people; and more especially young people, are forced into avenues of being who or what they are not. Whether that is by media, or peers, and most popularly significant others.
Media has tricked people into thinking you need to look, and dress in a certain way. There is certain music that you should listen to. There is a certain weight you need to be. And you should be clean shaved. I just feel like that's such bullshit. If we were meant to be uniform, we would all be enrolled in a Charter School. But life is anything but a charter school. If you wanna like rap music, cool. If you wanna wear band t-shirts and shorts year round, join the club homie. There is no cut and paste of what you should look like and wear. And if you think I'm wrong, please email your complaints to the following address where they will be seriously considered by yours truly:
idontgiveashitaboutyouropinion@yourmomshotmail.com
I guess I hold such issue with changing who you are to please a significant other. That shit is so lame. If you are dating someone who expects you to change who you are for them, you should do the world a favor and murder that person. Because there's a serious chance that that is the Anti-Christ. As I have grown up (Please stifle your laughter.) I have come to realize that there are too many people in the world and too many personalities that differ to think that you need to be a certain way for someone. The only thing you should be is your best self. And if someone doesn't like who you are, then kick their ass out. I guess I have just heard people faulting others for things that don't make sense.
The thing that tops my list in that regard is telling someone they care too much. I guess this could be altered into saying "clingy" and saying that that is an issue. Are you hearing yourself talk? This person is so wild about you, and cares so much, and are willing to show that. And you think that's annoying? If anybody gets bothered by this, I hope they die old and alone. I get faulted for caring too much all the time. And truthfully, I don't give a shit anymore. If someone doesn't like that I am willing to put everything on the line for a relationship, they can pound salt.
I guess the point I am trying to make is; be who you are. There are too many people in the world and too many pretty/handsome faces that have a chance of working out, to believe that you have lost it all because one relationship didn't work out.
I am just a firm believer that everyone should be okay with who they are. More than that, they should be proud of that. You should never have to hide or alter things to appease certain crowds/opposite sexes. Sure, you may have to shower and watch your language. But that doesn't mean you need to change who you are.
I'm Jake Bleazard. I have an odd obsession with music and I hate when bands I like get too much publicity. I would rather listen to music on my own than do most things. I am a social caterpillar and I have a hard time meeting new people. I tend to binge watch TV shows when I have time off. I wear every emotion I have on my sleeve. There has never been a middle ground for me; life is black and white. I love my best friend Kasey more than I love almost anyone. I love my tight knit group of friends. I love my mom and dad. I have the tendency to get attached to things/people very fast. When I date girls, I tend to string myself out. I LOVE sleep. I'm foul mouthed. I think this blog is stupid, but it keeps my brain in my head.
You get the idea. These are things about me (The list goes on, too. kinda.) that I am not gonna alter for anyone. And if someone doesn't like that, I got two words for you:
*Whispers* Suck It.
"Trying to think of who could make a better me than me
Maybe I'll shoot him an email
Maybe he'll give it a go
Then I'll be free to just evaporate, disperse, or implode"
-Modern Baseball
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