I love America.

Over the venture of my years of breathing, i have come to many coherent conclusions. Most of them only make sense to me. However, there are quite a few that i feel that everyone would/should agree with me on. This is one of those that is kind of in between. in my journeys from the deserts of Utah all the way to the beach of New London Connecticut, i have stumbled across my fair share of foreigners. Each time that i did, it was an unpleasant experience. People that aren't from the States, suck for so many reasons. Allow me to name a few.
1. They rarely speak understandable English. More often than not, the word i use most in my conversations with out of country-ers, is "What?" And frankly, it bothers me. I feel like i shouldn't be asking people to explain themselves in my own country. Conversations rarely go anywhere positive either. Its alot like being wired over to India for customer service. Nobody ever gets anywhere and you both end up frustrated.
2. They are usually here to steal something. I'm not sure if its not a law in other countries to not steal anything, but it is here. And i feel like we are the only ones who know that. They are either going to swipe your cool wallet, or steal the originality of taking pictures in front of clever things. So much for having an awesome picture in front of the worlds biggest hot dog. The Asian down the street did it first. Copier.
3. Trying to explain American culture and mannerisms, is like trying to explain what orange looks like to blind people. They come here and mess up the natural flow of things. They might get up and walk around peoples homes taking pictures of things. They might trick their children into looking up weird Anime porn. All in all, whatever they do over there, they do over here. And its infuriating.
4. American sports dominate, even though foreigners don't agree. Cricket? its a more boring version of baseball. Just to name one. Reguardless of the fact that 30% of the NBA and 90% of the MLB are not from America, We invented the sport. Therefore, we are much better at it than you. And always will be. How many rings does Yao Ming have? I remember. None. Michael Jordan? Oh. 6.
You might ask yourself, "But, Jake, don't you think these people would say the same thing about you if you went to their country?"
Allow me to answer your question with another question. I'm never leaving the country on my own terms. America has everything that i want. Mountains, beaches, sports, music, the worlds hottest women, and great hamburgers. Suck it.