A Perfect World...

In a world where good things happen to me, i would never be sad, or lonely. I wouldn't have the troubles of having to chase women. Women would chase me. There would be unicorns instead of cars. And jet-packs instead of planes. Everyone would throw money at me when i walk into their house. Little kids wouldn't be nearly as annoying, but always well behaved. Church services would no longer be bland. There would be theme music to every scene of my life. I would never lose an arm wrestling match. I would have the fanciest clothes. And everyone would tell me that i look great today, even if i don't look great. My pool wouldn't be full of water, but full of things that would be fun to swim in. Like puppies. I would live in a castle. And there would be a moat. And all the people that were mean to me, wouldn't be invited to my roller disco parties at my roller disco rink in the basement of my castle. The coolest bands would open shows for my band at my castle. Every night. And everyone would love my music more than the Beatles. And John Lennon would be jealous of how cool my music and i are. And he would ask me to do a duet at the Grand Old Opry, and i would tell him never. I would be able to wear a new pair of socks every single day. And my shoes would always be new, but i would never have to break them in and hurt my feet for a day, or more. People would smoke rainbows that make them live longer instead of cigarettes that make them die sooner.There would never be unicorn traffic. And there would never be any heinous crimes. Everyone who ever hurt my feelings would have to say: "I'm sorry". And every night, i wouldn't have to cook my own food. Or wonder whats for dinner. But exactly what i'm hungry for, would be waiting for me on my mile long table. And all my friends and i would have friendly conversations. At a friendly dinner table. And i would sleep on a bed made out of clouds. And i would get the perfect amount of sleep every night. And i would wake up to my favorite song getting played at my bedside live.

Instead, i live in a sad cruel world. Where nothing good ever happens. Fields catch fire instead of marshmallows. Girls throw rocks at my heart instead of kisses. Unicorns get killed and eaten instead of ridden. The roller discos close at nine. My socks have holes in them. My mustache is blonde instead of brown. And pirates like me get chased from town to town. I have hope for a perfect world. *Sigh*