Choice (Find Yourself)

I have recently felt like if everyone gave me two actual cents when they gave me their two cents, I would be very wealthy. I guess in some respects I should take comfort in the fact that people want to advise me in aspects, in others it can just get fairly draining. I have always felt like I am the kind of person you can confide in with anything. Even murder. Just kidding. I probably would lose sleep over that. But really. If you murdered someone I would like to know.

I guess seeing that my life has been a constant swing of change over the last month or two it's nice to have people give me advice from their experience, what they would recommend I should do and be doing. But at the end of the day, everybody not only should, but will make their own decisions. Regardless of what that may be, and if that conflicts with what you think they ought to be doing. To be in a state where you hold a grudge against someone for the choices they make makes you look like an asshole. Unless that choice was murder or something extreme like that. Then okay. (Seriously, i wanna know)

I guess I have been thinking a lot about this topic because there has been such a sea of turmoil in my own family and my personal life.  There has been choices made, nerves tapped, and feelings hurt. Some of it is certainly not ill deserved, others are somewhat menial. The issue I take with it most of all, is the ripple effect that some peoples choices make into others lives. I guess when your choices are effecting others, there can be issue taken there.

I guess I just don't ever wanna feel like I need to choose a side in an issue I am loosely involved in. I think that in most of life you shouldn't have to feel like you need to constantly be choosing sides. Unless it's in a Giants-Dodgers match. Then it's a simple choice. Screw the Dodgers. Times infinity.
All joking aside, I just feel like that is what my life, and this whole world has turned into. A bunch of bickering damn middle school girls. Regardless of whether that's politics, religion, money, this that and the other. No matter where you go, what corner you turn, someone is there to slap you in the face with a differing opinion; an opposing team. That shit blows man.

I guess I have never been about world peace, because I have a brain. That's just never ever gonna happen. Have you ever tried to talk to the indian guy at 7-11? If you have not, that may be the reason that you still believe in world peace. Or maybe you've never been stiffed at a restaurant. Or got bitched out by some foreigner at a gas station about using wanting to use your personal cell phone. (These are all real scenarios, I lead a strange life.) And I guess that this is the stem of it all, for me. I don't want people to fight and argue. But I also know that everybody is an asshole. Realist; is what I believe people label it. (I just call it miserable)

I think in the past while I have heard so much jaw-jacking about the choices I am making, what I am doing, that I don't wear pants, that I wear too much black, and on and on and on. And Part of me has a burning desire to change these things, because I want to please people. I guess I am somewhat insecure that way. But the other part of me in consciously aware of what I like. And I am not gonna start wearing jeans because holy shit, it's too hot.

I guess the just of what I am getting at is this; Do whatever the shit you wanna do. Because at the end of the day, you're gonna be the one living the the wake of your decision. Your mom and dad wont. Your friends won't. Your trusted colleague won't. Your group of girls that are all simultaneously your best friends won't. Just you. (And maybe your wife/husband Girlfriend/Boyfriend) So regardless of what people are telling you, just be true to your own self. It is impossible to please everyone. Someone is always gonna hate the color orange. Someone is always gonna like the opposing team. Someone is always gonna think you're wasting your time. Someone is always gonna think you're pissing your life away. Someone is always gonna think you're too fat to fit on the roller coaster when in reality the person just wasn't strong enough to buckle it and made you look like a dick when in reality they're the dick, someone is always gonna say "Holy Shit! you wear size thirteen shoe? What are you, some kind of giant? Do they special make these shoes?" and then cry when you push them down the stairs, Someone is always gonna think you look better with a short beard, some people are gonna think you look better with a long beard, Someone is always gonna make fun of you because your hands are the size of dinner plates, someone is always gonna laugh because you have nice coats and hoodies that you wear in the dead of winter with shorts on, someone is always gonna think you are too small for your car, and on and on and on.

I think you get the gist of what I am saying. Just follow your own heart. Do whatever you think is best. And if someone disagrees, that's okay. They'll learn at some point that you're happy. And doing what you think is best, and at the end of the day, that's all that matters. To hell with anyone who says otherwise. Just do yourself a favor, and make your choices, but don't burn bridges beyond repair in the process. Especially those you love most.