In sixth grade I dressed up as Fat Bastard from Austin Powers' Goldmember. My mom sewed together two thermal shirts that are flesh colored and filled it up with cotton. Which I thought was pretty ingenious. We also sewed together a plaid sumo wrestling thong, and colored my hair orange. It was one of my favorite Halloween costumes I ever dressed up as.
The night of this particular Halloween I was hanging out with my friend Tanner and my other friend Brandon. My friend Tanner was Johnny Appleseed (at least I think) He was wearing overalls and a pot of some sort on his head. My other friend Brandon was a werewolf. We went out trick or treating that night and had about hit the entire west side of Manti, and we came on a well known polygamist home. When we went up to the door, there was a hand written sign that said something to this effect: "Unless you want to be taken into polygamy and forced to marry our daughters and wear long sleeve shirts and pants forever, don't knock on the door, we don't serve trick or treaters."
Just kidding. It said that they don't celebrate Halloween and to not knock.
My friend Brandon was upset by their threats about being taken into polygamy and, just wanting candy, threw a rock at their window and exclaimed "Give me some F#cking candy!"
Here's where the story gets a little fuzzy. I can't say for sure if the rock broke the window or not. Because when I saw him throw the rock, I turned and ran as fast as I could; We all did. I remember hearing a truck start as I was about 2-3 blocks away. We ran to my friend Tanner's house where we camped out in his family's camp trailer, and spent the rest of our night eating candy and discussing women and body parts, I'm sure. I don't really think this story is funny based on us potentially breaking a polygamists window and probably disrupting their goat sacrifice. I think it's funny to think about a kid in a homemade fat suit, another kid with a pot on his head, and a third dressed as a werewolf running as fast as they can down the street. I remember having to hang onto my fat pants/plaid thong as I ran.
It's a shame that trick or treating is going away; even though I understand, and agree, why. They do the "Trunk or treat" things now where you go on some night and collect candy from the community in an hour or less. I remember having to hike clear up to the east side of town because I knew Judge Tibbs gave out king size candy bars; and as a kid, that was the whole adventure. Walking for blocks and blocks trying to get the biggest haul. Then going home and having to share with my siblings because they were unwilling to work as hard, or walk as far as I was.
I like, and have always liked, Halloween because there's such a dividing line in people. There's the people who go all out and do their makeup to look like they've been dead for years, and there's the people who do as little (Or nothing) as possible, I always viewed it as a way to see who the real freaks are; And I like that. I like seeing people get passionate and invested in something. Because doing nothing is so much easier (and rewarding, tbh.) So I applaud anyone who is passionate about anything, including Halloween.
So, to all you freaks going out and doing devil stuff (Col, looking at you, bud.) and anyone who is hauling their kids around, I hope today turns out okay. Take time to celebrate and mask yourself into whatever you wanna be, at least for a night. (Unless you're a polygamist abducting kids.)
Happy Haunting.
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