I Realized Who I hate The Most.

Look, I realize I have been absent for the past month. And I really don't have an excuse for that. I would say, oh man, I was swamped with finals, like everyone else. Everyone that I asked to hang out was always cry babying about finals. But, between you and I, I wasn't studying for finals. Also, I aced all my finals. So, F your logic. I have just been lazy. I guess I have also had a problem with writers block. I will seriously have a great idea for something at like 4 AM in the middle of a nightmare involving Ashton Kutcher, and then forget it when I wake up. My brain is a trickster. But, anyway, I have had alot going on. So, I apologize for being absent from your wonderfully pathetic lives.
I know alot of high schoolers. And in most cases, that isn't by my choice. I always thought middle schoolers were the absolute worst. And that is actually still true. The sad truth is though, high schoolers are just middle schoolers with money and a drivers license.
So, there I was. Sitting in McDonalds just burning some time between appointments. I wasn't bothering anyone just checking the stock market app on my phone, and enjoying a nice hot fudge sundae. And this gaggle of ass hat high schoolers deem it necessary to take the booth directly next to me. So, I think nothing of it and just keep about my business. And these idiots don't seem to have a volume knob. Or, it may have been broken off at decibel level 100000. Cause seriously, I couldn't even hear the talk show on the TV I was sitting directly underneath. And all I wanted to do was hear Rod Stewart preform his new song on this terrible talk show. Can I do that? Heavens no. I had to listen to this dumb ass yack about putting new plastic shit on his stupid shit Honda Civic. Also, more asshats convene with the prior asshats. The difference is, these were colored gentlemen and their decibel level was superceded the gangly white folks in the booth next to me. I literally almost fell out of my chair when this booming black man voice rattled the windows with "CRAIG MY NIGGA! I AINT SEEN YOU IN FOREVER! DAAAAYYYYUUUUMMM!" At which point I gathered my things and left the McDonalds to go somewhere where I won't be bothered with nonsensical conversations and loud black men who's whole aim is to frighten the shit out of me.
So, There is one lie that I told in this story, and the rest of it is entirely true. Can you guess what the lie was? You're right. I wasn't checking the Stock Market App on my phone. Because that app is entirely useless.
I hate it so much when people have the condescending attitude saying things like "Oh, you're just a young buck!" especially when you are only a few years older than I. But, the truth of the matter is, High schoolers suck. It's basically where your hormones peak, and everything is fifty shades of F-ed up. Like, I hear about high school relationships going south, and being treated like news that Mary Kate and Ashley are now cooking meth. Like it's the biggest and most terrible news since the holocuast. Really? I realize that it means alot to those kids, but the truth is, about .001% of high school sweethearts get married and stay married based on a study my brain did, and made statistics up for. Seriously, you get out of high school, and realize that all your relationships in high school were based on sex. Not love. You just want to jam your $90 jeans together. Not get married. And don't ever try and tell me different. Cause I will pirate kick you into tomorrow.
I don't mean this as a vicious attempt to bring any high schoolers down. Cause high school is fun, and should be. But, you should really stop taking yourself, your friends, and God willing your relationships so damn seriously. Cause, honestly, not a whole lot of it is going to matter in ten years. Sad but true.

A Small Confession About Fears

It might just be that I am 22. But, it also might be that I am completely bad ass. Truth is, on any given day, I feel pretty invincible. Death is something that crosses my mind a lot. While I feel like I still have a lot left to live for, dying is still the least of my worries. At least I wouldn't have to go to school. Or work. I feel like I may be rambling on and on about nothing. So, let me draw the point to all of this. There are only a few things that I truly and completely fear. Midgets, Snakes, Heights, and Public bathrooms.
Now, I realize that the reason you are afraid of these things is due to your subconscious fear of death. You are afraid of things that have the backdrop of death. Which, makes complete sense to me. However, I think that it is almost impossible to completely oust a fear in your life. I have been scared of most of these things since I was young. Even now that I am 22 and most of these things are irrational, I can't seem to shake them.
I think my biggest one now, is public bathrooms. It's not even a fear, I just hate them. For so many different reasons. I think one of the main stems from the movie Dumb And Dumber. When he is in the bathroom and that giant man walks in for surprise sex with him. I just know with all my heart that I am going to be in there taking a leak, and someone who can overpower me sneaks up behind me, and gives me a little surprise. I could probably beat up most rapists. But I always have the fear that someone the size of Donkey Kong is waiting behind a stall door for me.
On top of that, public bathrooms are 19 times out of 20 filthy and repulsive. Not like, shit all over the walls. It's just like, full garbage's, dirty mirrors, turd salads from kids who don't flush, toilet paper (used and not) all over the floor, and the overpowering stench of urine. If you can go in a public bathroom and not line the toilet seat two or three times, my hat is off to you. Because it is going to be you that has a burning urinal tract. Do you realize how many people have sat on that seat? Me either. Because it is probably a lot! Something about sitting bare assed where strangers have sat bare assed is uncomfortable to me. Then again, I even line toilet seats at the most clean public bathrooms. The only place I don't is at home. Home is where you don't have to line the seat.
I think another thing about public bathrooms that is weird, is all the writing on the stalls. I mean, peoples phone numbers, names with hearts around them, and everything else weird in the world. How romantic is that though? You etched you and your girlfriends name into the wall of a bathroom stall. That is a love that is going to last, I just know it. I don't understand why people just write curse words on bathroom stalls, either. You look up, and there, in the poorest of handwriting, is the word "Shit." Well, yeah. I suppose it's appropriate. But, that is the most clever thing you had? Shit? Like, nothing to preface it, nothing to explain it after. Just, Shit. Genius.
I am always afraid of the worst things happening in public bathrooms too. Like, either you run out of TP, or the toilet clogs, or someone walks in on the stall, or peeks through the cracks at you, or hears your noises, or whatever. It's like, when that happens at home, it's bad. But, if it happens in public, it's shameful. I usually do all that I can do in order to avoid it. I will drive the twenty minutes home and pert near soil myself before I will succumb to a public bathroom event.
Worst of all, I have a feeling I am going to end up dying in a public bathroom. Not like, be murdered or whatever. I just know my last minutes on earth are going to be held in a public bathroom. I believe that mostly because I am not the worlds best person. And the worst case scenario of dying is going to happen to me. I am going to be in a bathroom rushing to wash my hands and get the hell out of there, and then it strikes. A heart attack. And in my panic, I clumsily throw myself into one of the stalls. The site of the unflushed toilet makes me pass out, and I fall down, and die with my mouth open on the toilet seat. Surrounded in names with hearts around them, swear words, and male genitalia scribbled on the walls. The toilet paper was out in that stall too.
Maybe a bit dramatic, but I can see it happening. Anyway, that is my rant of the day. Hope you enjoy it. Be safe; Poop at home. Smooches.

Rules Of Thumbs For Concerts.

Well, it's close to midnight. I already ate a bowl of cereal, and took a sleeping pill. Which will be a huge mistake tomorrow. But, I took a nap at 8 o'clock at night, and now I feel like I am ready to go run a marathon. If it were possible for me to run a marathon. So, if this starts out being somewhat coherent to begin with, then, towards the end it starts getting random, and stupid, you now know the cause. Over the counter sleep aids. Three of them.
So, I know alot of people aren't into "screamo" music. And that's fine. We have discussed you just keeping your trap shut about it. Seeings how it has honestly saved my life. So, last night, I went to a metal concert. Allow me to start by saying that it was awesome. But, you know what's not awesome? That every ass hat on the planet seemed to show up. So, I am going to go over some concert etiquette that everyone should apply. Whether it's a Green Day, Taylor Swift, or Black Dahlia Murder concert.
First, understand what a concert entails. If you have personal space issues, you should consider going to the movies, or park instead. While nobody likes to have their goodies touched, you are going to be in a confined room with several hundred people. It's not Woodstock for hell's sake. You can't bring a picnic basket, do bumps of coke off each other while laying on a blanket. There are people everywhere. And you ARE going to get touched. So, be aware of that. And if you go, and start punching people in an effort to create separation for yourself, I am personally going to punch your head. You prick.
Please, in the name of all that is sacred and holy, don't bring your girlfriend. While we all want to please our significant others, some things are just not good ideas for dates. We have aforementioned the space issue. And no one wants their loved one to be smashed either. Don't be a hero and take her then spend the night fending off these "hounds" from squishing your princess. It's futile, and asinine. Unless it is some kind of low key acoustic set, or your woman is accustomed to that sort of atmosphere, forget it. Leave her home to watch Pretty Little Liars.
Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever take your gosh damn shirt off. I don't care if it's 5000 degrees, and 5000% humidity. You make us all exponentially more uncomfortable by rubbing your shirtless self against us. But even more so, if you are fat, you shouldn't even consider it. Taking my shirt off at a concert has never crossed my mind. Cause not only am I uncomfortable with that, I know that everyone else would be too. I am a sweaty damn person. My shirt seems to wick away a great deal of that sweat. And when I am rubbing up on everyone else and their stupid girlfriend, it makes everyone happier when I am fully clothed. Don't be an asshole. Keep your shirt on. Whether you are buff, fat, skinny, or somewhere in between. Just do it. For the sake of everyone.
A little add on to that, if you are a woman and do go to a concert, wear clothes. If you wear a bikini top, and booty shorts to Warped Tour, expect to go home topless. There are too many pigs out there that will rip that bikini right off. I have seent it too many times to believe that it wont happen. Just, wear a regular t-shirt, and some pants or Capri's. Also, shoes that wont fall off easy. I have found so many Toms and other women's shoes on the floor of shows. Make sure they can tie. Seriously. Women get disrespected as hell at shows. So, try to dress accordingly. And if you dress like an ass, you'll get treated like an ass.
This next point only applies to metal shows, but I still wanna say it. SCREW HARDCORE DANCING. MOSH OR GTFO! If you are a hardcore dancer, you're an asshole. It's not fun for anyone. And it shouldn't be fun for you. You are making a complete jackass of yourself by flailing your limbs at no one. STAHP. But keeping in mind of mosh pits, there are some things to be said. If you are under the age of 18, stay out. If you are a woman, don't even consider it. If a pit opens up near you, get away. Cause here is the thing, I am a giant. And when I am in the pits, I am like a car without brakes. I cause absolute havoc on the people inside and outside. Because I don't stop. Not for no one. And the thing is, I don't want to run this car into a girl. But the thing is, if you're stupid enough to stand on the edge, you deserve to be hit. Don't cry about it. Do something about it. If you have a head on your shoulders, there are ways around mosh pits. Run and scream like you should. Don't sit and take it. Us mosh pit guys, are ruthless. A mosh pit is nothing but an excuse to kick the shit out of each other. And we don't want and women to be involved in it. So don't. It's not sexist. It's just true.
Lastly, don't go to concerts when you get white girl wasted. If you are having trouble standing, stay home. If you can't see real good, stay home. Everyone hates drunk people. Everyone hates drunk people even worse when they are in public and can't hold their shit together. On top of that, straight edge kids will target you and beat the hell out of you. And I tend to target drunk people in the pits also. So, don't drink and go to concerts. It's annoying. For everyone.
So, I hope you heed these words. They come from many years of experience. And we should all be able to go to shows and not have to end up hating everyone. Smooches.

The Rock Has A Motto We Should All Live By.

I don't really consider myself a very opinionated person. I mean, I have my opinion just the same as anyone else. The difference between me, and most people, is that I tend to keep that opinion to myself. Which, is a contrary notion considering that I have this blog that is nothing but opinionated. Where I think I differentiate in that point as opposed to others, is you can choose to read this blog or not, and if you don't like it, oh well. If there is a post directly aimed in your direction, skip it over. People aren't forced to read this blog, and frankly, I don't think that most people do. Aside from a select few pledged followers.
Everyone is seemingly bent out of shape over the opinions of others, myself included. We are all consumed in what other people think of us. It affects what we wear, how we act in public, what we eat, all the way down to what music we like. Whether you choose to agree with that or not is entirely up to you. However, it is entirely true. We are all just in different spectrum's of that. I don't really so much care for my appearance, but care about how people view my personality. Where someone else might be the exact opposite. At the end of the day, if you have been through a breakup, you have let someone else (not necessarily opinion, but actions... I guess) determine your behavior. You wont listen to certain music anymore, you won't eat certain foods, and you wont participate in certain activities out of either hate for this person, or otherwise sadness. Someone else has determined something in your life.
I guess the point that I am aiming for here is, why? Why is it that we all have perfect reputations to keep? Why do we let other people determine so much of our lives? I don't really have an answer for that, or a solution. I wish that I did. I think that it would be a much nicer place to dwell if we all just did whatever the hell made us happy.
I think overall what I am getting at, is mind your own damn business. Everyone seems to be jumping up and down about this whole gay marriage thing. While I am not opposed to being involved, my question is, why? People have the odd notion that if they make enough noise, that the federal government is going to give a shit about them. Forgive me if I am being a little facetious, but they probably wont. When have they ever?
Maybe it's just me, but I have stopped caring about things that don't directly effect me in any way. If you are a gay rights activist, awesome. Still don't care. Oh, you are against gay rights? Don't care. Cause I am going to wake up tomorrow, and it is in no way going to directly effect me. So, I just don't care. I think that people are so wound up in thinking that opinions matter to more people than their direct family, and friends. And truth is, they kinda don't. Unless you are a leader of some organization like the Illuminati, people outside of that friends unit, don't really care. If you are just looking for an argument, can you do it places aside from the Internet? I mean, if you are going to fight, go to someones barn and beat the hell out of each other. Settle it like freaking real men. If you have to hide behind your computer screen, you aren't political genius, nor are you a hero of any sort. If you firmly stand by your convictions, get up and do something about it. Something that doesn't involve clogging my news feeds with arguments, and other bullshit.
I mean, maybe this is contradictory, and I am stating my opinion about you stating yours. I just have the firm belief that if you aren't going to go out and do something about it, shut up. If you are gonna do the talk, do the walk. All this, if this gets so many shares, or likes, then it will stop something, or help something else, is nonsense. That would be comparable to saying if you don't share this that you'll burn in hell for all eternity. It's a nice thought, cause there are plenty of people that I hope whole heartedly burn in hell, and there is nothing that I won't do to push that along, it's still ludicrous. Get off the computer, stop arguing your opinion against others VIA the almighty Internet, and go help build something, stand a picket line, or go make a statement in some way. Otherwise, know your role, and shut your mouth.

Be Giant.

I am not really a motivational speaker, by any means. But, I just wanted to try my hand at this. So, take it for whatever it's worth.
I have never really had life motto's. I have never really established boundaries, at least verbally for myself. I have always been the kind of guy that will do whatever, and learn from my mistakes. And maybe, that's a good thing. Then again, maybe it isn't. It depends on how you look at things. I think at the end of the day, as long as I actually learn from my mistakes, and don't continue making them, it has all worked out for the best. I kind of like living this way. But, for whatever reason, I have had a burning desire to have something to live by. I need something to trademark, and always say when I am in sticky situations. For the most part, I have stuck to my friends rules. And I think they are great. I will direct you to his blog, as he recently explained all of them. http://bewareofhooks10.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-articles-of-austin-ation.html
But, as for me, I needed something else to live by. In the past couple of weeks, I have been pretty bummed out. Which is pretty apparent, if you have read my poem. But, as things progress, I found myself digging myself into a deeper hole. I was letting my problems, the choices of others, and my attitude toward it all start to kill me. Not, like put a gun to my head, but I could hardly function. And for whatever reason, today I was just done being miserable. I still carry my burden, and the hurt, but I have finally ceased to let it consume me. Which, in essence, brings me to my life motto. Be Giant. I'll admit that this has alot to do with my love for Brian Wilson, Tim Lincecum, Pablo Sandoval, and other San Fransisco Giants, That isn't what I intend to portray. When I think of a giant, I think of an 8 foot tall viking, that has a huge beard, and swings an axe that is roughly the size of Shaq. He is dashingly handsome, and is so buff, that it would make even married women quiver. He knows no heartache, and never lets people under his skin. He always has a stiff upper lip, but is also one of the kindest people you will ever meet. When things go bad for him, he chalks it up to learning experience, and moves forward. He doesn't mope, pout, or scream "Woe is me!" When people take advantage of him, or treat him poorly, he doesn't get upset about it, he simply subtracts those people from his life. He is basically everything that I aspire to be. He is a made up role model that doesn't exist. When I think of being giant, I think of being like this guy. Someone who is so entirely bad ass, and someone that everyone likes. But, aside from that, when you decide to Be Giant, it means you are bigger than your problems. You are bigger than the people that hurt you, use you, and otherwise betray you. That's not to imply that you are better than anyone. Cause we are all playing the same field, and are better than no one. What it means is that you aren't going to let people smaller than you, that have vicious intentions, bring you down. Because you are a giant. People that want to bring giants down are usually people who are small. People that wish they could do the things giants do. While everyone has the capacity to be giant, not everyone chooses to do so. The small people in this world are consumed in themselves. They aren't focused on anyone else. And Giants never bring down fellow giants. That's just not in our nature. And the truth of the matter is, small people can only bring you down if you allow them to. It's just the law of physics. You are your only weakness as a giant. And only you can allow yourself to be lowered to where the hounds can chew at you. You are constantly chasing your dreams, as a giant though. And not letting evil people stand between you and where you want to be. You never stoop to peoples level who aren't as giant as you. The sky is never the limit for giants. Cause we can touch the sky. So when you feel like you couldn't get any smaller, remember to Be Giant. Because giants like us, we can't afford to be sad. We can't afford to pout. We can't afford to let things bother us. When we fall from our tower, we dust ourselves off, and make up for lost ground as soon as we can. Laying in the dirt whining about things never cured anything. I think I am more speaking to myself on this matter than anything else. But, I think we could all apply it to our lives. Be Giant.