Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Years, You Filthy Animals

I'm still trying to wake up today, and it is 5:00 in the evening. I guess that it is probably the one day out of the entire year that it is generally acceptable to not be fully coming around until this late in the day. I think that is the main problem with New Years. For some people, we set these goals to become a better person and re-up our lives. Yet, the night before these goals are taking full "effect" we are out until all hours of the night, getting blitzed, kissing strangers, and doing all sorts of other things that we wouldn't normally do. Now, I am not one to nay-say an excuse for a party. However, I also don't set plans to start going to the gym the next day. I have alot of beef with New Years resolutions. That's not to say that I don't think that it is a good idea to set goals to become a better person. I am all for that, because I think everyone sucks, and they could use some bettering. I don't however, think that we need to wait until the New Year to set the goals, and miserably fail. You should just be failing all year long. The idea of a fresh start is ludicrous. There is no such thing as a fresh start. You don't fall asleep on New Year's eve (Well, I guess technically it is New Years day by the time you actually fall asleep...) and wake up the next day, and everything you did last year is gone. No matter what goals you set, I, and most people, still remember the godless whore you were in 2012. You may convince yourself that you are a new person now, but by hell, I will never forget the old one. Nothing magic happens over night. Chances are, you are still going to be a godless whore come 2013. It might just take a month or two for you to drink away the goals you set. Now, I am not exempt from any of this. I am just as guilty of telling myself that I am going to start working out and eating healthy this year. Chances are, you will see me standing in line at midnight for the second Hobbit film with my pockets crammed full of McDonalds, soda, and candy. Later that night I will probably be engaged in some kind of game tournament with my Internet friends. The problem that I don't have, that you do, is you make your goals public, and tell people what great things you are going to accomplish. Then I silently laugh at you when I see you in the same line as me at Burger King. If you are serious about your goals, you probably wont tell anyone about them. That way, if you end up failing, you will only be the only one involved in your self inflicted pity.
I will say, that there are all kinds of things that you can look forward to in 2013. There are plenty of opportunities, adventures and failures that wait ahead. That is the only real "fresh start" there is. You didn't die (unfortunately) in 2012, so there is alot to look forward to, that you may not have been on the eve of December 21st. If you set goals, great. Stick them on your fridge or your mirror. Not on your Facebook or Twitter. Or suffer my wrath when I see you pigging out at KFC. Trust me, I WILL publicly humiliate you. I hope everyone had a safe & fun holiday. Thanks for following this blog and all my other rants. I have some big things coming your way this year, and there is alot to be excited for. Thanks for all the support. It means the world to me!
King Jake, Endless Kingdom, signing off 2012.

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