Mirror Mirror On The Wall Who's The Biggest Dumb Ass Of All

Have you ever thought that you had bad luck? Like maybe you spilled the salt and that's the reason that you fell down the stairs? Or maybe you walked under a ladder and that's why you aren't rich? I have these thoughts all the time. I always try to explain something that has happened, either good or bad, on some external force that is out to get me/trying to help me.

I grew up in an overly superstitious household. Being called from another room because someone dropped a fork and didn't want to pick it up. Or throwing a handful of salt over your right shoulder to correct the salt you spilt on the table. It gets a little exhausting trying to trace back all my steps and think "Maybe it was because I _____________." Always seeking for some kind of explanation for everything, although comforting at the conclusion to find a blame for things, was tiring.

I do think that some superstitions can be interesting/valuable. I love hardcore/metal music, I have for years and years. My parents thought that it was because I was possessed, but in reality I just liked being different, and liked music with some kind of message. I listened to a lot of heavy music through my tenure at Manti High School. I also played football and wrestled. While most of the guys on my team would listen to music in the locker room prior to a game, my 'superstition' was to not listen to music at all, even though I love(d) music. I found that I preformed much better if I just sat and thought. So does that mean I would play horribly if I were to listen to music? Not likely. In retrospect I just had a better head space. So maybe some 'superstitions' are more of a preferential thing that get carried throughout time, and passed on.

Or maybe people are just insane?

Have you ever looked into peoples 'signs'? Those are some beliefs I do not understand. Because you were born at a certain time when the earth was a certain position in its pattern around the sun explains why you act a certain way? Not only that, it will predict future actions and behavior patterns? Who even thought long enough about that to piece that together? I don't even know what my sign is, or what I will act like. Is that typical behavior for my sign? Did they predict that? Is there other magic involved? Can the stars tell me the next lottery drawing numbers? Can they at least tell me whats for dinner?

Never mind, I am cooking dinner I already know whats for dinner, stupid. That was a trick question.

Have you ever thought that maybe all the bad luck and signs are just your excuse for not taking responsibility for your own shitty actions? Or not accepting that sometimes bad things happen for a reason you can't explain? I understand the feeling that you don't want to accept that something is out of your control. That is probably one of the hardest lessons that I am still learning as I have grown up. I have learned in my marriage that I am a 'fixer'. I just solve problems, whatever they are and whatever the cost. Even if I have to stay up all night, I will fix the sink, or the toilet, or the car, or whatever. If something happens that I can't fix, it honestly and truly upsets me. So I have spent the last couple of years trying to reign that in. I agree that it's way easier to have something fall through, or the car break down, or money run out and shake your fist at the sky and curse God, or the devil, or Sagittarius or your cursed luck, or what the hell ever. It's hard to accept that sometimes things just fall apart for no rhyme or reason. Even if you are doing your best, and you have lived up to every statute you have set up for yourself, but it falls short. That is heart breaking. But maybe things fall apart so you can be better. In whatever way. I can't tell you that tragedy is a good thing. I also can't tell you that it is or is not because of Venus' moon cycle or whatever, or because you broke a mirror and have bad luck. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Maybe diamonds and precious metals will start flying out of my ass.

I can tell you that the sooner you take responsibility for your actions, the better your life will be. If you spend all your time shouting at salt shakers and the star patterns, you will miss out on a great deal. Fix what you can fix, don't worry about what you cannot. Have a good laugh every once in a while. Life is hard, that's why nobody survives. You might as well not spend it blaming the unknown and be thankful for what you have.

Now if you'll excuse me I am going to look up what my horoscope is and eat some fortune cookies and maybe even visit a local tarot card reader or other charlatan. May you all have an abundance of good luck, you idiots.