I find that i worry too much. I worry about dates, asking girls out, if double texting them is inappropriate, the list could go on for hours. I often find myself losing sleep over it, to be entirely honest. If i could count up all the hours I've lied in bed staring at the ceiling analyzing my date, wondering what she thought about it, thinking about what to say the next time i text her, and on and on and on, I could honestly watch the extended versions of Lord Of The Rings, and Harry Potter in their entirety 6-7 times. Let me bring you up to speed on my recent escapade with asking a girl out (Which was a horrible idea to begin with) So there i was, losing sleep thinking that maybe this girl might be interested in me back. In my eyes, things were going great. I finally had someone text me that's not my mom. So what do i do? I try to take it up a notch to make sure that my intentions are well known. Man, i'm so awesome! I'm a real man! So, i decide i was going to spend the money i don't have and take her out on a date. I just needed her to agree first. So i send her the following text (Might have been a mistake in and of itself) "I know you probably have homework and stuff, and i'll leave you alone. But, i just wanted to see if you wanted to go grab a movie and ice cream or something tomorrow :)" I even lowered my standards and sent a smiley face. She, in turn replied with such; "Blah Blah Blah I suck at living, Let's just be friends so things don't get weird... Blah Blah Blah i wish i were dead." If i were a faggot, i would've cried. You know why? Cause rejection sucks. I spent the next three days over analyzing the situation, and my personal worth as a human. I seriously considered shaving, changing my wardrobe, getting a haircut, buying a Ferrari, buying a motorcycle, taking up base jumping, joining a hockey team (Still an option), being an astronaut, starting a fight for no good reason, starting underground dog/chicken fights, dropping everything i own to become a sailor (Also an option), burning the apartment complex to the ground, and finally becoming a vagrant. Of course, i followed through with none of these things. Yet. But, as i have lied in my bed countless nights wondering whats wrong with me and what i need to change, i have come up with a few conclusions that might do the world a bit of good. I am neither a psycho or a killer, but, i have had some dark thoughts that might bring things into better order in the world today. Why is it that there are leagues established? Why cant we all hold hands and be happy? Should it not matter what social class you hail from? Why does it matter if the Cheerleader dates the weird theater kid? We should all end up being happy. Enough of that gay stuff. In order to restore balance to the world, there needs to be fear struck once again into the hearts of the people. We all live without consequence any more. We can all say whatever we want without the consequence of having to say it to anyone's face. Life now is easier than ever. No one is afraid of anything anymore. Until now. If there were consequences for our actions, we wouldn't do some of the things we do. I propose the following, we don't ask girls out with us anymore. We force them. Kidnapping is so old school. And we need to bring it full circle. Allow me to explain my intentions. Instead of seeing a cute girl and forcing yourself to talk to them and winning them over, kidnap them. Then give them an ultimatum. They can either date/marry you or (Insert consequence here). I'll allow your own imagination to fill in the blanks here. Which i probably shouldn't do. But, i'm a risk taker. You take some responsibility here. I'm tired of losing sleep over chivalry and trying to make myself seem presentable. I don't want to have to fix myself in order to make someone love me back. But, if they love me because they had the choice of that, or getting thrown in a wood chipper, i would be okay with that. I'm all about people making good choices. Why not make sure that they make good choices? I see the wood chipper idea only going great. Cause honestly, who is going to choose to die? No one, that's who. It may not be ethical. But which of my posts are? I'm trying to provide options for people who are like me. Nice people, with bad luck. And in the end, why shouldn't we all be happy? Or at least one person in the relationship...
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